To Kill A Mockingbird - FY Version
by Sansele
Summary: Basically, the FY characters perform a play version of 'To Kill A Mockingbird'. *Revised cast* R/R please!
1. Preparations

To Kill A Mockingbird 

Prologue: Preparations

(The seishi and other characters are rushing all over the set.)

Sansele: Hurry! The show starts in fifteen minutes!

Tomo: NOOOOOOO~! My face-paint! Soi, you will die for this…

Soi: What? In the script you're supposed to look pale. You're playing Boo Radley!

Tomo: No, I'm supposed to look like a freak! Wait a sec…

Soi: Ha!

Hotohori: Remember, Nuriko, we're acting as brother and sister…

Nuriko: That doesn't matter, Hotohori-sama!

Hotohori: Ah…

Chichiri: Where are my glasses, no da?

Sansele: Here. Um… maybe you should take off your mask? Atticus is supposed to look dignified…

Chichiri: Well… Okay, no da.

Tasuki: Why is my %@&^$ sister here?

(Log whacks him over his head.)

Aidou: Because I'm playing Calpurnia, you idiot!

Ashitare: I must protest; I am not a mad dog!

Miaka: Wah! How come I can't hug Tamahome?

Suboshi: But I can't insult Yui-sama!

Sansele: Keisuke, what should I do?

Keisuke: I'm not sure…

Character List

Scout - Nuriko

Jem - Hotohori

Atticus - Chichiri

Dill - Tasuki

Ms. Caroline - Yui

Burris Ewell - Suboshi

Calpurnia - Aidou

Mr. Raymond - Kouji

Mr. Gilmer - Nakago

Walter Cunningham - Amiboshi

Judge – Taiitsu-kun

Tim Robinson – Ashitaire

Mr. Heck Tate – Tetsuya

Tom Robinson - Tamahome

Mayella Ewell - Miaka

Mr. Ewell - Tenkou

Mrs. Maudie - Subaru

Mrs. Dubose - Miboshi

Boo Radley – Tomo

Mr. Radley - Tokaki

Chuck Little - Chiriko

Ms. Stephanie - Soi

Company – Nyan-nyans 

Narrator - Mitsukake

Co-director - Keisuke


	2. Act One: Summer

Act One: Summer 

Mitsukake: Our story opens in the county of Maycomb, a quiet place. However…

(Curtain opens, with Nuriko, Hotohori & Tasuki on stage. Fangirls scream for a few moments, before Nakago threatens.)

Nuriko: So yer name's Dill?

Tasuki: (Sarcastically) Yeah, and I can read! (Rolls eyes, then stops when Nuriko looks like he might punch him) 

Hotohori: That's nothing. Scout here has been reading since she was born. How old are you?

Tasuki: 7?! Wait a sec… WHO WROTE THIS *^$&#%#@!

 (At the back of the audience, Keisuke is holding a really big signboard. 'ACT!')

Hotohori: Well…why don't you come to our house, Charles Baker Harris? What a name…

Tasuki: It's better than Saihitei… (Lots of whispers from crowd)

Hotohori: At least I can fit mine; Kou Shu'n is too long for _you_. (Even more.)

Tasuki: What the *#^@$?! (Nuriko punches him.)

Hotohori: Seen anything good, Dill?

Tasuki: Um, yeah… Dracula, I think.

Hotohori: Hmmm… Not interested.

Tasuki: How about this? (Takes out gold-plated mirror)

(Hotohori's eyes light up, and he takes it.)

Hotohori: Ah, such a wonderful mirror; it's too good for the likes of you...

Tasuki: Sheesh… what a vain guy…

Nuriko: Don't say anything bad about Hotohori-sama!

(Keisuke: [OOC!] A/n: When you see [], it means that it's a sign.)

Nuriko: Well, where's your father?

Tasuki: Being hen-pecked at home with mom.

Keisuke: [OUT OF STORYLINE!]

Tasuki: Argh, don't really have one, I suppose.

Nuriko: Okay… is he dead?

Tasuki: NO~!

Nuriko: How come he allows himself to get hen-pecked?

Hotohori: Ah, Scout, stop bothering Dill. Especially when he's given me such a wonderful mirror…

(Everyone sweatdrops.)

Mitsukake: So the three of them became friends. But Dill started taking an interest in the Radleys…

(Setting change: A backdrop of a really old & scary house)

Tasuki: This is the Radley house?

(Silence)

Tasuki: Hey!

(Silence)

(Nuriko takes mirror gently from Hotohori.)

Hotohori: Who? What?

Tasuki: The ^#$@ Radley house.

Hotohori: Yeah… at night, Boo Radley comes creeping out…  prowling through the streets…

Nuriko: Looking for little Tasukis to eat…

Keisuke: [OUT OF STORYLINE!] 

Tasuki: (glares at Nuriko, who is laughing wildly) *@^$#^#…

Hotohori: (Still pissed off about the mirror) Negroes won't walk near that place at night, the Radleys almost never come out, and Radley pecans are poisonous…

Nuriko: Miss Crawford says that Boo Radley stuck a pair of scissors into his father's leg…

Hotohori: He looks like a vampire, a zombie, and a banshee rolled into one…

Nuriko: He's supposed to be responsible for some of the worst deeds in Maycomb County…

Tasuki: Did he ever try setting fire to a building?

Nuriko: (Looks at Hotohori and looks back) Not that we know of…

Tasuki: Not even once?

Hotohori: Yeah…

Tasuki: What a boring guy.

Nuriko: NANI~?!

(Keisuke has fainted. Sansele: [NOT IN SCRIPT!])

Tasuki: Okay, look, I'll bet you 'The Grey Ghost' that you won't go in the gate.

Hotohori: What's 'The Grey Ghost?'

(Chiriko appears from behind curtain.)

Chiriko: 'The Grey Ghost': A book, which was published during roughly the time of the Great Depression.

(Walks back)

Nuriko, Hotohori & Tasuki: O_O

Hotohori: Sorry, no thanks.

Tasuki: Why? You scared?

Hotohori: No, just that the item isn't that great.

(Tasuki snatches mirror from Nuriko.)

Tasuki: What about this mirror?

(Hotohori's eyes become glazed.)

Hotohori: Mirror… mirror… (Walks into Radley gate, touches side of house, realises 'where' he is, and rushes out)

Tasuki: Here. (Gives mirror to Hotohori.)

'CRASH!'

Nuriko: (glomps Hotohori) What was that?!

(Now backstage)

Sansele: Yeah, what was that?

Soi: Sorry, was trying to fry Tomo…

Chiriko: One of the supports gave way…

Sansele: ~_~; Oh no…

(On stage)

Tasuki: We made him angry…

Hotohori: Now we're going to die, stupid Tasuki! Run!

(Tasuki runs offstage, since Nuriko is comfortably glomping Hotohori, he sighs, and carries him offstage, with Nuriko/Hotohori supporters catcalling.)

(Keisuke, who has been revived, is still waving [OOC! OOC!] wildly.}

Mitsukake: Within a few weeks, however, Dill had to return home. Scout was also due to go to school…


	3. Act Two: School & Scout

Act Two: Scout and School

(Curtain opens with Nuriko & Hotohori)

Hotohori: Now, Scout, you're not allowed to meet me during school.

Nuriko: Not at recess…

Hotohori: No… 

Nuriko: When we meet between classes…

Hotohori: No…

Nuriko: (About to cry) Can I glomp you?

Hotohori: No.

Nuriko: WAH! Hotohori-sama…

Keisuke: [Humour him, Hotohori]

Hotohori: (sighs and hugs Nuriko) It's only going to be for a day…

(Nuri/Hoto fans are very happy… suddenly Tamahome appears offstage…)

Tamahome: (taking pictures) Gonna get some money for these…

Keisuke: [WHAT THE ^%#@$#?] (Sansele whacks him)

(VERY quick curtain)

Mitsukake: And both of them set off for school…

(Curtain opens, with Nyan-nyans, Yui, Suboshi, Amiboshi, Chiriko & Nuriko)

Yui: Good morning class, my name is Ms. Caroline Fisher. Today I will read a story to you…

(Lights dim to signify passing of time.)

Yui: Wasn't that a nice story?

Nyan-nyans: YES! YES! NO! NO!

Suboshi: Oh, Yui-sama…

Keisuke: [TOO HYPER!] [OOC!]

Yui: Err… Scout, will you please read the letters on the board?

Nuriko: That's easy, S-U-B-O-S-H-I. (Pause) NANI?!

(Suboshi looks at Nuriko threateningly.)

Amiboshi: Suboshi…

Keisuke: [WHAT?!]

Yui: You can read?

Nuriko: Of course…

Yui: Who taught you?

Nuriko: Atticus.

Yui: Tell him not to anymore. He doesn't know how to teach.

Nuriko: What about writing?

Yui: No.

Nuriko: But Chiriko can!

Chiriko: Um, Nuriko, for the moment, no.

Keisuke: [NOT IN SCRIPT!]

(Soi rings bell from side of stage)

Yui: Time for recess. Please put your food on the table.

(All hesitate, then pull out dishes of burnt, overcooked food…)

Sansele: What happened?

Tasuki: Miaka cooked.

Miaka: (sniff) Sorry…

Tamahome: It's okay…

(Both go to corner to… you know…)

Back on stage…

Yui: Walter, where's your food? Did you forget?

Amiboshi: Yes…

Yui: Here, go buy some food.

Amiboshi: Sorry, I can't accept.

Nuriko: Ms. Caroline? You're embarrassing him.

Yui: Well, come out here.

(Yui is about to whack Nuriko, but sees the Suzaku seishi looking on menacingly at her from stage side…)

Yui: Uh, never mind, but I will whack you next time it happens.

Nuriko: Whatever. (Rolls eyes and gives the seishi thumbs up.)

(Keisuke has fainted)

(Yui walks offstage)

Nuriko: You're going to get it, Walter…

Suboshi: Don't threaten my aniki!

(Looks like genuine battle is going to start…)

Hotohori: (Pops in) Scout, let's go. Walter, do you want to eat lunch with us?

Amiboshi: If that's all right with you.

Backstage…

Tasuki: Seiryuu scum…

(Sansele whacks him.)

(Curtain)

Aidou: Okay, you brat, you're going to serve.

Tasuki: But I'm not in the scene…

Aidou: Quit making excuses.

Mitsukake: With that, Walter Cunningham went with Scout and Jem to have lunch.

(Curtain open)

(Chichiri, Nuriko, Hotohori & Amiboshi are seated around a table. As we recall, Chichiri's not wearing his mask… The fangirls go nuts…)

Chichiri: Daaaaa…

(Tasuki comes in bringing food. He is dressed… in a dress and apron.)

All: (stare) Wow.

Tasuki: (blushing) $@^#%^…

Keisuke: [NEVER ADD PARTS AGAIN!]

(Tasuki serves quickly, and then Aidou enters with molasses jug. Amiboshi pours it all over his food.)

Nuriko: What the $@&^$ are you doing?

Amiboshi: Um…

Aidou: Come here.

(Nuriko & Aidou walk to one side.)

Aidou: As long as he's company and in our house, you should be courteous. You shouldn't disgrace them! If you can't be polite, then go into the kitchen to eat!

(Aidou whacks Nuriko.)

Nuriko: OW!

Offstage…

Tasuki: I told you she can whack %$@*# hard…

All: ~_~;

Mitsukake: Back at school…

Yui: AAAHHHHH! It's alive! (Jumps on table)

Suboshi: Yui-sama!

(He rushes forth to help her, but the nyan-nyans sit on him.)

Chiriko: Don't worry, Ms. Caroline. The specimen of vermin, which crawled slowly out of the hair follicles upon his cranium, will not cause you any harm.

All: O_O

Yui: Burris Ewell? My advice to you is to go home and wash your hair with lye soap, then use kerosene. (Tasuki: Then I can flame him…)

Suboshi: But why, Yui-sama? I want to attend your class…

Keisuke: [NOT! IN! STORYLINE!]

Yui: (Trying to salvage situation) You have cooties.

Suboshi: But… but…

(Nyan-nyans sit on him again.)

Amiboshi: He's an Ewell. They come the first day of school, and never again. You're supposed to mark him absent for the rest of the year.

Yui: I see…

Sansele: Finally something goes right…

Yui: (Big teary eyes) Does that mean I can never see my Subo-chan again?

Sansele: Oh, shit…

Suboshi: I'm not leaving!

Chiriko: Oh yes, you are.

(Suboshi and Yui hug tightly, but the Nyan-nyans grab and carry him out.)

(Some Yui/Suboshi fans mutter.)

(Quick curtain)

Mitsukake: Scout was unhappy about the day's events, and after supper, Atticus sensed something was wrong, and sat down with her.

(Curtain opens, with Nuriko standing and Chichiri sitting on the swing.)

Chichiri: Scout, is there something wrong, no da?

Keisuke: [NO DA??!!] (Suddenly, a bunch of fangirls turn around…)

Fangirl #1: Leave him alone, you baka!

Keisuke: Eh, heh…

Nuriko: I feel sick; can I not go to school tomorrow?

Chichiri: I'm afraid not, they'll put me in jail if I allowed that, no da. Come sit.

(Nuriko goes forward, but misinterprets him, and sits on his lap…)

Tamahome: Oh, goody… (Takes pictures rapidly)

Audience: Wah… (A few Chichiri/Nuriko banners go up.)

Chichiri: (blushing) Nuriko, can you please get off me, no da?

Nuriko: Oh, sorry…

(After a quick move…)

Chichiri: I'll teach you something, na no da. You can't understand a person, unless you climb into his skin and walk around in it, no da. Try considering things from Ms. Caroline's point-of-view, no da.

Nuriko: (thinks) What about Burris Ewell?

Chichiri: He's part of an exclusive group of people.

Nuriko: The Seiryuu seishi?

Chichiri: Hai and iie, na no da.

Keisuke: [LANGUAGE!]

Chichiri: Things are different for him, no da.

Nuriko: Okay… but if I go to school, I can't read anymore…

Chichiri: We'll compromise.

Nuriko: Sounds like something Hotohori says…

Chichiri: If you go to school, we'll continue reading at night, no da. Okay?

Nuriko: Oh yeah!

Chichiri: But don't tell the people at school, no da.

Nuriko: Why?

Chichiri: Our activities would be received with considerable disapprobation by the more learned authorities, no da.

(Weird light flickers in Nuriko's eyes.)

Nuriko: The reading or the hentai stuff?

Audience: WHAT?

Offstage…

Tamahome: Oh no… I lost the bet…

Sansele:  I BEG YOUR PARDON?

Tamahome: Um, nothing…

Chichiri: (Hastily) The reading, the reading…

(Quick curtain)

(Even the audience can hear from behind the curtain…)

Nuriko: Pay up, Tamahome!

Mitsukake: Err… with that, Scout went to bed. Not with Atticus.

Draconsis: With Jem?

Mitsukake: No, no…

Audience: Awww…

Mitsukake: ~_~;


End file.
